Grow the largest pumpkin from a single "competiton grade" seed
There are four classes you can enter:
Class 1: The heaviest Pumpkin
Class 2: The Biggest Pumpkin
Class 3: The Best Matching Pair
Class 4: The Most Disappointing Vegetable
Big Max Pumpkins grow to a size of 70 inches in circumference and weigh upto 100 pounds. These magnificent pumpkins have bright orange skin and thick yellow-orange flesh that makes them ideal as Halloween decor or jack-o-lantern specimens. But, that's not all, as these pumpkins make delicious pumpkin pies too.
Things you'll need
1. Big Max Pumpkin seed
2. Organic matter (or brown stuff)- your choice - ph 6.5 recommended (by our very own Dr Phil)
3. High phosphorous fertilizer
4. High nitrogen fertilizer
5. Water (that H2O thing)
6. Flat Cap
7. Rubber Gloves
8. Speciality hoisting equipment
9. Medical truss
Instructions
Difficulty rating: moderately impossible (depending on cul-de-sac and micro climate conditions)
Step 1. Plant pumpkin seed in brown stuff and grow 1 inch down , pointy bit facing downwards. Firm with a stiff implement. Pumpkins need 120 days of frost free growing.
Step 2. Put in sun. The more sun they receive the better they will grow. You should see a green bit in 5 days! ( if not the bad news is that you're a failed gardener and better luck next year!)
Step 3. Build a mound of dirt as big as your small, clipped over, designed, middleclass, urban gardens allow. Mounds should be more than 20 feet apart and should feature a pumpkin plant (Pumkins are sad loners and do not like to be with other pumpkins)
Step 4. Pour on water and keep lovely and moist
Step 5. Add fertilizer (or stroke with a small feather) until plant starts to grow bigger. Cow and horse manure is best and your neighbours will love being reminded of why they moved to an urban area. The use of any other form of manure will not be tolerated under clause 56 subsection c of the groups constitution.
Step 6. Pour on more water they love it
Step 7. Locate a newly opened remale flower and gently swab the stigma with a pollen laden stamen or use something hairy and delicate like a paint brush.
Step 8. Look out for orange danglers. They are pumpkins. remove all but one pumpkin per vine one the fruit has reached the size of a tennis ball
Step 9. Prune the vine by pinching off the tip and any side shoots when it has reached 20 feet to prevent new fruit from forming, or taking over your entire house...
step 10. KEEP TRACK. Measure your large vegetable at least weekly, signs of wither or rot must be dealt with quickly. You will find that they can gain four to six inches in a 24 hour period.
Measure the circumference first parallel to the ground around the entire pumpkin from blossom end to stem. Next measure over the top in both directions from ground to ground along the axis from stem to blossom end. Finally measure perpendicular to the stem-blossom end axis. Add these three measurements together, then multiply by 1.9 to give an estimate of the pumpkins weight.
RULES & REGULATIONS
Judging day is Sunday 6th September
Judges must see your pathetic specimen on the vine for your pumpkin to be included. They (the pumpkins not the judges) will be cut down on the day
Sumptuous Prizes awarded to the pumpkin that
Class 1. weighs the most on the day, using Nalton industrial bathroom scales
Class 2. Has the biggest girth measurement
Class 3. Look good as a pair
Class 4. Are pathetically small and wizened...
# actual prizes can change as the recession deepens and may not be awarded at all!
Pumpkins entered using other seed varieties from that supplied will be disqualified
Queensbury rules apply
No Correspondence can be entered into. Judges decision is final.
Big Max Pumpkin Seed (one) are supplied on a first come basis, and the organisers can not be held responsible or sued for a failed attempt.
There are four classes you can enter:
Class 1: The heaviest Pumpkin
Class 2: The Biggest Pumpkin
Class 3: The Best Matching Pair
Class 4: The Most Disappointing Vegetable
Big Max Pumpkins grow to a size of 70 inches in circumference and weigh upto 100 pounds. These magnificent pumpkins have bright orange skin and thick yellow-orange flesh that makes them ideal as Halloween decor or jack-o-lantern specimens. But, that's not all, as these pumpkins make delicious pumpkin pies too.
Things you'll need
1. Big Max Pumpkin seed
2. Organic matter (or brown stuff)- your choice - ph 6.5 recommended (by our very own Dr Phil)
3. High phosphorous fertilizer
4. High nitrogen fertilizer
5. Water (that H2O thing)
6. Flat Cap
7. Rubber Gloves
8. Speciality hoisting equipment
9. Medical truss
Instructions
Difficulty rating: moderately impossible (depending on cul-de-sac and micro climate conditions)
Step 1. Plant pumpkin seed in brown stuff and grow 1 inch down , pointy bit facing downwards. Firm with a stiff implement. Pumpkins need 120 days of frost free growing.
Step 2. Put in sun. The more sun they receive the better they will grow. You should see a green bit in 5 days! ( if not the bad news is that you're a failed gardener and better luck next year!)
Step 3. Build a mound of dirt as big as your small, clipped over, designed, middleclass, urban gardens allow. Mounds should be more than 20 feet apart and should feature a pumpkin plant (Pumkins are sad loners and do not like to be with other pumpkins)
Step 4. Pour on water and keep lovely and moist
Step 5. Add fertilizer (or stroke with a small feather) until plant starts to grow bigger. Cow and horse manure is best and your neighbours will love being reminded of why they moved to an urban area. The use of any other form of manure will not be tolerated under clause 56 subsection c of the groups constitution.
Step 6. Pour on more water they love it
Step 7. Locate a newly opened remale flower and gently swab the stigma with a pollen laden stamen or use something hairy and delicate like a paint brush.
Step 8. Look out for orange danglers. They are pumpkins. remove all but one pumpkin per vine one the fruit has reached the size of a tennis ball
Step 9. Prune the vine by pinching off the tip and any side shoots when it has reached 20 feet to prevent new fruit from forming, or taking over your entire house...
step 10. KEEP TRACK. Measure your large vegetable at least weekly, signs of wither or rot must be dealt with quickly. You will find that they can gain four to six inches in a 24 hour period.
Measure the circumference first parallel to the ground around the entire pumpkin from blossom end to stem. Next measure over the top in both directions from ground to ground along the axis from stem to blossom end. Finally measure perpendicular to the stem-blossom end axis. Add these three measurements together, then multiply by 1.9 to give an estimate of the pumpkins weight.
RULES & REGULATIONS
Judging day is Sunday 6th September
Judges must see your pathetic specimen on the vine for your pumpkin to be included. They (the pumpkins not the judges) will be cut down on the day
Sumptuous Prizes awarded to the pumpkin that
Class 1. weighs the most on the day, using Nalton industrial bathroom scales
Class 2. Has the biggest girth measurement
Class 3. Look good as a pair
Class 4. Are pathetically small and wizened...
# actual prizes can change as the recession deepens and may not be awarded at all!
Pumpkins entered using other seed varieties from that supplied will be disqualified
Queensbury rules apply
No Correspondence can be entered into. Judges decision is final.
Big Max Pumpkin Seed (one) are supplied on a first come basis, and the organisers can not be held responsible or sued for a failed attempt.
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